adoption, faith, Family, infertility, inspiration, LDS, ldsmom, mother, Wednesday Stories

How Mother’s Day Changed

I wish you all a wonderful Mother’s Day!  I hope you will enjoy the perspective my friend Christy gives as her Mother’s Day changed dramatically over a just a few years.

“My son Christian has a way of knowing how to say just the right thing at just the right moment. Yesterday morning, as I was attempting to sleep in, he came into my room to inform me that he was hungry and he was wondering what I was going to do about it. I rolled out of bed and to get him some breakfast cereal. As I was getting milk out of the refrigerator, I remarked, “It seems like you are old enough to get your own cereal.” Without missing a beat, he replied, “For some reason it tastes better when you do it.” You know, I think Christian might have something there. I think we all can remember times when our mother’s touch made things a little better. We can’t really say how or why, but the “mom factor” made a difference.

Today on Mother’s Day, we honor our mothers and talk about the positive ways they influence our lives, both big and small. We honor the role of Mothers in the Gospel plan. Mothers teach us of love, sacrifice, faith, dedication, reverence, and, if they are imperfect like me, repentance.

First John Chapter 4 includes a beautiful discourse on the love of God, our Heavenly Father. Verse 19 reads, “We love Him, because he first loved us.” When a mother shows this same kind of God-given love to her child, the same sentiment can be applied. “We love mother, because she first loved us.”

I can’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t want to be a mother. But, as some of you know, my path to motherhood was filled with bumps, twists, turns and delays. When I was married, I couldn’t wait to start a family. It never entered my mind that I would have difficulty having children. But year after year passed and no children came. These were years of multiple visits to doctors, multiple surgeries, and growing frustration.

Mother’s Day was a hard day for me. Even though the youth made a point of giving me a flower at church on Mother’s Day, for me this was really hard to receive. I wasn’t a mother in the way I wanted to be, and the flower, to me, was a visible reminder of that. It is hard to explain in words the despair I felt as I tried reconcile my God-given desire to be a mother with the physical realities of infertility.

At a particularly low time in my motherhood journey, Michael and I received a phone call about three children, ages 3, 4, and 5, in need of parents. After going to meet them, Michael and I both felt like we should pursue adoption. At that time, I felt I did not have enough faith that the adoption would be successful. I remember so clearly saying a prayer in which I told my Father in Heaven that my faith was not sufficient. In response, I felt Him answer, that these children were a gift, not something that was to be earned through my faith. I want Chyanne, Kara, and Dakota to know that I still think that the opportunity to be their mother is one of the greatest gifts of my life. I have no doubt that it was Heavenly Father who planned and orchestrated the miraculous events that brought them into our family.

At the time we adopted our first three children, I did not know that Abby Jane and Christian would later be born into our family. Abby Jane and Christian joining our family was no less miraculous and their spirits have added so much joy to our home.

It should come as no surprise that women feel a variety of emotions on Mother’s Day. They may feel inadequate for the responsibilities of motherhood. They may feel unsure about whether they are doing the right things. There may be regrets or sadness. Mother’s day can bring to the forefront feelings of loss for a mother who has passed on, for a child who has left this world too soon, or for the child who was never born. And while I have felt some of those emotions at times in my life, today on Mother’s day, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude—for the opportunity to be a mother and for the way Heavenly Father uses this journey of motherhood to shape me, in sometimes difficult and always in deeply personal ways, into the person I must become.

I am grateful for honorable parents who set an example of love and righteousness, which continues to have great influence over my life. I am grateful for my husband, and for my five beautiful children, and for the opportunity sealed in the temple as a family. I am grateful for the restoration of the Gospel in the latter-days, which has made this possible. I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior, and that He loves all of us.”

I love how Christy became a mother!  It is truly miraculous! I am so grateful to her for sharing this beautiful Mother’s day post with you all.

Each of us women are planted just like the flower at the top of the post in different circumstances.  Some of us in fertile soil, some of us, not so much.  But the trick is to bloom where we are planted.  To find a way to feel the joy of motherhood whether that blessing has come to our lives yet or not.  This of course is easier said than done.  We have to pray A LOT for strength and understanding from God.  We as women are given the divine gift from God to mother.  To give tender love to all we come in contact with.

So my prayer today is that regardless of circumstance, that today we each may choose to share the love that God instilled in us with another person-whether it be our own child, another child, and elderly soul who desperately needs to be remembered, or a total stranger.  We can change this world.  Let’s start mothering more today.

Christy is also an amazing nurse!  She has a home lactation business.  Please follow her on facebook!  I know that I always appreciated help with nursing!

Lactation Home Care

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